I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Randomize
