What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
