i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
