508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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