why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
