Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
