do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Randomize
