Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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