SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
wow bdsm is so cute
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