Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
