Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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