Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
