fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize