Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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