I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Randomize
