I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
