we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
