About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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