Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
