I wanna bring you to show and tell
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
