That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
