Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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