i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
last night I used snow as a chaser
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
