just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
