brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
