last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Randomize
