I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
