It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
