thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
