i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
