we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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