I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
