There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
