see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Randomize
