Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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