omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
