Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
How naked do you want me to be?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
