is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
