Michael Bay diarrhea
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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