Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
