that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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