from now on my penis is your penis
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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