sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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