His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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