I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize