She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize