So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
