im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize