I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
