I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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