I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
