It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
