It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Come on in and take your pants off
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