he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
