community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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