addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
