how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize