I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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