peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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