she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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