so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
