I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
