Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
My liver just had a heart attack.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
