If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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