i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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