When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
