did you get engaged???
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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