puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
